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Call me "Crash"

April 27, 2009

Everyone knows that the hormone rollercoaster is a given when you are in the thick of your cycle, but what about afterwards, when you get that BFN?

I decided to go back to Dr. F, my famous acupuncturist, who I took a break from for a year. He can help me with hormone stuff that Em, my other acupuncturist, can’t, though he is clueless about IVF. After Dr. BloSunMyCha would not monitor my DHEA levels, I asked Dr. F to do it. I had to go off the pregnenolone I had just started taking for a week. I’ll get the test on Wednesday. It can’t come soon enough.

I think I’m having a hormone crash. I’m getting PMS symptoms and taking no hormone precursors to jump start my system again. I do think I ovulated, but my BBTs have been all over the map. My ovaries are confused.

I read two blog posts today that freaked me out. First was about a C-section incision busting open. I thought, ew, I don’t want to do that, but chances are I would have to have a C-section because of my previous myomectomy to remove fibroids. Then, I read a post about a woman’s PPD with anxiety. Talk about flashback, but I had that PPD/anxiety when I was pregnant. No one warns you about that. I’ve made myself sick on chocolate and lack of sleep in the last day and a half. I feel nauseous and panicked. If I didn’t know better, I would think I was pregnant.

It seems that my expensive fertility treatment habit is now turning into an expensive car wreck habit too. Yeah, had another car accident last Wednesday. I’m ok, physically. The car isn’t. I got a new lesson in trauma reactions, one I could do without. I froze in reaction to being startled while driving. Not good when there are other things moving around you that don’t stop.

Seriously, this whole infertility gig sucks.

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15 Comments leave one →
  1. Emily permalink
    April 27, 2009 7:12 pm

    YIKES!!! I am so sorry about the hormone crash and the car crash! I hate that distracted feeling..

  2. Duck permalink
    April 27, 2009 7:17 pm

    I hear you. I’m sorry to hear about the accidents (what do you think they mean? ). I went to my acupuncturist today and asked him about dhea – he told me not to do it, just keep it simple with vit e, vit b’s and vit c – so we’ll see. I think I will skip it, I’ve emailed the clinic.
    I’m taking every other supplement that I have read will help embryo quality, so I’m hoping that I will be okay there.

    Sounds like you’re going through some rough time, I’m here if you ever need to chat.

  3. The Muser (aka Beautiful Mama) permalink
    April 27, 2009 9:42 pm

    Oh, Phoebe, peace, healing…I’m so sorry. 😦

  4. Coming2Terms permalink
    April 27, 2009 10:41 pm

    sorry to hear about all of the flashbacks and the recent crash. wishing you calm and healing…

  5. Mrs. Gamgee permalink
    April 27, 2009 10:46 pm

    I’m glad that you are unhurt (even tho your car is).

    ICLW

  6. Blossom and Her Fruit permalink
    April 28, 2009 9:23 am

    I am so glad you are safe. Seems like you’ve got a lot on your mind… don’t forget to take some time to rebalance. i should go do that for myself right now. so much to worry about.

  7. wereyoulookingforme permalink
    April 28, 2009 9:56 am

    Whoa! I am glad you’re okay but sorry to hear about all this other crap. Hormones play havoc with our lives, either there are too many or not enough or they’re peaking at the wrong time and messing with our ability to LIVE peacefully / normally. I hope the chocolate helped, at least in the moment. Sending you {{BIG HUGS}}}!

  8. Jill permalink
    April 28, 2009 9:57 am

    Holy cow! I’m glad you’re not hurt! I hope your hormones chill out soon

    ICLW

  9. DAVs permalink
    April 28, 2009 11:35 am

    I’m really sorry about the car wreck. That just stinks. Sometimes it feels like it’s always something…

  10. Duck permalink
    April 28, 2009 7:27 pm

    u r tagged.

  11. Sue permalink
    April 29, 2009 9:40 am

    Oh! I’m so sorry about the crashes! I’m glad you are okay. Since you are taking DHEA, be aware that it can have some interesting side effects and one of them is hormonal crankiness, raised temper, etc. I tried it in the winter and wasn’t able to tolerate it at all (I started getting worst side effects than that over time).

    I’m happy to hear of a fellow GF dieter! I’m getting by – it is a big change, but I do okay and I’m feeling so much better. I’ll definitely be checking in for the recipes!

  12. Clio permalink
    April 29, 2009 10:39 am

    sorry you are feeling this way… and how awful to have another car wreck. Glad you are physically okay, though.
    Acupuncture is really a great tool to balance hormones. I hope it does help you navigate this.

  13. April 30, 2009 10:05 pm

    Arghhhhh….. I just said to a friend two days ago that I can’t believe I haven’t had a car crash or lost my licence through speeding fines. Sorry you weren’t so lucky. Glad you’re ok though

  14. hardknockedup permalink
    May 1, 2009 10:02 am

    I definitely get hormone craziness after a failed cycle. RE #2 said that is pretty normal, unfortunately, it takes a while for your body to recover from all the cr*p you pumped into it.

    Sorry things are so hard for you right now!

  15. Denver Laura permalink
    May 7, 2009 7:08 pm

    {{Hugs}}

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